Clicker smackin' the jelly roll!

Midnight antics

So, I woke up at exactly 3am last night.
No one but my husband knows how much that freaks me out.
Its 'dead time' according to the show "paranormal state"
You know, when all the ghostly beings come about.

So......normally, i'd force myself back to sleep, refusing to be a part of this 3am behavior.
This time, i couldnt, i really had to pee, and nattie wasnt being helpful by twisting her head around on my bladder.

So i waddle as fast as a pregnant gal can to pee, making sure not to look in ANY mirrors in the bathroom (yes the bloody mary saga), before returning safely under my covers.

By this time my mind is wandering and i knew i'd be awake for a bit.

Wasn't exactly sure how long that 'bit' might be until i heard captain caveman start to snore next to me.
Then I knew.
I knew my antics had to begin.

Quieting a snoring caveman takes alot of patience, and practice.
I couldnt just wake him up, because then , well, he'd be awake, and when he's awake he needs the TV to fall back to sleep.............and i cant sleep with the tv on.
No, I must be much more clever than that.

So I started with the clicker smack (a.k.a. the channel changer, or to be more politically correct......the remote control).

I gently smack cavemans rump with the clicker, not hard enough to wake him, just hard enough to cause some disturbance, and interruptions of the deep low-grumble snore.
Each time i smack his rump, it gives me a good 30 -45 second lull in the snore to try my best to fall asleep.

After that didnt seem to be working as well as I'd hoped, i tried the giant jelly roll.
My husband likes to sleep on his side, rolled up in the blanket like a swiss miss jelly cake.
All I need to do, is give the blanket a good YANK, again, causing a slight disturbance.

That worked a few times, until he turned completely onto his back, mouth wide open, and a snore which changed from a deep grumble, to a high pitched Tin man snore.

Think......Tin Man, waiting to be rescued by dorothy and friends, mouth tightly clenched and wriggling side to side, as he squeaks out "oil can.......OIL CAN".
Yes, an oil can would be JUST what i needed, if only i had one, darn.

Finally, i gave up, yes i'd been defeated, and was completely wide awake at this point.
I gave ol' tin man a good shove and he rolled back into his jelly roll position as I awaited the long lost grumble snore.

But, what did my wondering ears happen to hear?
NO more snores from my caveman!! My antics had finally paid off.

But then what was that faint baby bumble bee snore? it couldnt be my husband, he's right next to me, quiet as can be.
I peeked over the edge of the bed, and sure enough, its baby bean #3..........taking after good ol' dad!