A big huge WHINE.

Well, come on, what else can i do right now but sit here and whine?

Its an indescribable feeling how very much I miss being a mother.
Obviously , Im still a mother, but not the mommy I want to be.
Im a big blob that the kids can come and talk to, and hug and kiss, and Im thankful for at least that.
I miss cleaning, and cooking. Strange, but true!
I miss coming down at the crack of dawn and getting my coffee and packing the lunches.
I miss being able to have fun with the kids.
Pack 'em up in the car for a day at the park, or even in the winter, a day out......SOMEWHERE, anywhere, just spending time together.
Before I became pregnant, caeleigh was teaching me to rollerblade....ha!
We were having so much fun.
I'd love to take her to the mall and hang out at borders for a bit, being silly.
Most of all I miss tucking the kiddies in at night..........Bob and I have ALWAYS tucked them in together, every night from the start.
Now, they come and kiss mommy goodnight and go up with daddy.

Im typically a very positive person, try my best to make lemons out of lemonade and all that good stuff.

I should be thankful I am on bedrest during the winter, so at least they arent missing too much!
Natalie will be here in about a month, and then the warm weather will be just about upon us.
Thats going to be heaven to me.......new sweet baby swinging in her swing while the other beans spalsh and swim..........feeling the warm weather, being able to join in on all the good bean fun.
I cant WAIT to enjoy this summer with the kids. I get giddy just thinking about it!
I truely know there are many many many people in this world, way worse off than I am right now, and I just dont know how they deal.
Ive been so blessed with these children, and my Husband. I dont know how I got to be such a lucky girl.
I thank God every day for what he has blessed us with.

I know Im doing what I need to be doing right now to protect my youngest greenbean.
And believe me.......i am going to be greatly rewarded when i hold my baby girl in my arms.
So its alllllllllll worth it in the end, and i'd do this a hundred more times for her.
Buuuuut. In the meantime, its sucks.

Being on bedrest for so long, its really taught me how much i enjoy my day to day life, including scrubbing toilets........err.......maybe just the ABILITY to scrub toilets.
Yes, thats it, the ability.

Ive just been confined to this living room for MONTHS now, with another 4-6 weeks to go, i feel like i'm going to explode.
Im such a hyper maniac to begin with.
Not being able to DO anything, and having the sudden urge to pee, become an exciting adventure to the bathroom, because then you have a reason that you HAVE to get up!
Well........i just have to suck it up, because it could be worse, right?
Alot worse.
My dr. said the next step would be for me to stay in the hospital until the baby is born.
Then i wouldnt even be able to lay eyes on my children.
THAT would be devastating to me.
OR, not following directions and going into labor right now.
That would mean poor natalie would be spending weeks at the hospital, all alone.

Poor Bob has to hear me say every day......several times a day, that i cant do this bedrest thing anymore!
The highlight of my day is hearing him walk through the door each evening.
Then I have my buddy to whine to, and tease, and hang out with.
If Im getting on his nerves he dosnt act like it.

So to take some pressure of of him, i'm whining here today.
Deal with it.